i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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