her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Come share oat with me in your robe
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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