Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I am spending my child support on dildos
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
