Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
