Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
