Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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