My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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