when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
