You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
