Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
