Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
