i need an iv and a liver transplant
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
