This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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