I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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