oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
