When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
We just shotgunned beers for America
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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