wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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