I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
