We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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