U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
