So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
