Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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