i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
