And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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