stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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