she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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