I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Randomize
