goodnight i made you a song goodbye
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
