My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
