His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
