yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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