I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
