this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
