Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Terrible idea I love it
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
