omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
