I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
