how can u be prego again
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
