I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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