i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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