He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
