: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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