I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
