She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
