she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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