I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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