i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
