We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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