life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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