My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
