I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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